blogging blogging blogging! haha happy weekend. my mind is clear, have settled down what i want. i want him to b happy n so must i. stop those emo-ing. i am learning e greatest things, tat's e languages of love. all along i want his attention so much it show's tat i love him deeply n i need him to b with me. but now i c things differently yes i still love him deeply n i do need him, i found my way to deal with mine feelings. i have tried this way for two days. i found it so use. we r so happy together for 2days. i know this will goes on n on! something we always speak out words to out partners tat it doesnt mean wat it means. example: "no, it's ok. i'm alright." vs " NO! IT'S OK! I'M ALRIGHT!" guys can u c it brings out different meaning. e most logical way we will interpret e message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use. loving each other we need words that of encouring and caring too. i got to show everyone that e decision i have made is right, that is to b with you! ps: thanks nic for suggesting of celebratin my bd. we will meet up again soon!=) take care

♥ 1:58 AM

i am out of my mind! hate this weekend. tears flowing down while i'm blogging. i love my family, yes i do. but my brother don treat me as his sis. hah. tat's how i feel. called me a bitch! is tat the way you call your sis? i dislike staying at home. home sucks! and i'm feeling so down now. just because my brother want to use the laptop. he called me so many times and i refuse to answer. he ask my mm to call me. as usual, i get scolding. hah wat a good way! i am a person tat doesnt know how to express my feeling. ppl usually will get it wrong as if i am angry or emo for nothing. i am not! wat i need is care and concern. i don want any other things. is't simple enough? i don ask for much. cos i jus need attention. tat makes me feel tat u care! tat's y i feed down n emo easily. i was thinking too much. cos i cant get ur attention, i tot u don care abt me. sometimes i think it's better if i don exist on this world cos my mind are making me so irritating. sucks personality. i don think i am a good person. all along i tot i will be the only one tat treats you well. but no. i don think so. i cant help when u troubled. i tot our relationship can be happy. no. it's all me. my fault. i make u sad. i really wan the both of us to stay happy. but y? wat happen to me. i am afraid tat one day you cant tolerate me and chose to leave. so i'm trying very hard to cheer up. tat's my problem, not yours. now i cant tolerate myself from all those negative tots. arhhh so complicated. i really don know wat i want. i am tired. really tired. all along i don dare to say all this in my blog cos i wan others to know tat our relationship is perfect. but now, this is the only way i can let you know how i feel and y i am so irritating. cos i know u are reading this post. as i said i will not leave you only when u chose to let go. from the begaining i change myself because of you. treat u like my king, listen to you give u my trust no matter wat. giving you chances cos i am giving myself hope. all these are done cos i know that one day you will change for me. thanks god you are mine, you change. i know i have choosen the rite one. no matter wat. i hope we can still hold on hand in hand together. p.s: if i'm sad pls don show me tat u r oso sad. cos i want ur smile.(i wan to b ur perfect girl)

♥ 1:25 PM

shoo~ GET OUT! freaking mind. gone for interview in the morning. hah was shock with their offer, i as k for 1.2k but they offer 1.6k. was not confirm with this job. don ask me y!!! was thinking of taking up part time jobs and start school as soon as possible in sept. bank loan?? felt so stress at work. who can help. no one understand. i really want to study. i want it so much. even my bro can start school soon due to the help from my mom. sadded. help kor kor oso don wan to help me. i said i want to study for so long le lor. anyway decided to loan from DBS bank. hopefully my mom can be my guarantor if not my plans wont work. their requirement is min gross of annual income S$12,000. arhhhh~ i hate what i have now. unstable work! that's not what i want ok! who really understand!? no one. some more i am headache over money. shit! haven even received my pay. only got 400. got to return mom 100 and pay her back 50 for some medical i asked her to buy. left 250. top up phone 28, top up ezlink 20, contact lens 35, total= $83. balance=$167. no comment=( shall end here. i am goin to emo liao.
p.s: i am a poor girl..

♥ 3:30 PM

arhhh... sian tml got to work again. ahah! guess will be late again. i hate workin there, it's addin more stress to my life. the worse is tat i stay damn far away. bishan to east coast rd, shit! haha.. toopid actually tot tat e work place is nearer to dear's hus. so we can meet up for dinner or whatsoever after our work. hah.. no need wat! rite. tot it's more convinent for him, but actually if i work at toapayoh area oso near cos his work place is at serangoon. LOL erm... talk abt yesterday=)) hmm was having a great time out with him. no mood-swing la. jus tired. ahah=)dear i enjoy going out with you=))
p.s: thanks yvonne(dear's sis) for helpin me with the connection=))

♥ 10:29 AM

hello hello hello~ random huh! haha after few days of post now i'm blogging again. i'm at my bf's hus, using my own laptop. erm.. hopefully this weekend no mood-swing la hur. LOL hmm later he will be out with his parents to buy something?? for their new hus. while i'm staying at his hus to wait for them to come home. haha i sounds like i'm part of their family. lalala.. aiya.. stay there i oso wont do anything leh.still feel so shy at his hus la. felt so uneasy. haha.. are we going out later?? dots see!!! i'm talking to my com sia. ahah. gone nuts=p i miss my friends.. revonda, mabel, nick and all.. hai still don dare to ask revonda out sia. scare she will ignore me=( my bad. i know. i miss our good old times! i really do! revonda take care!=))
p.s: dear rest more k! fever fever faster go away! love u.. muacks=x

♥ 11:30 AM

arhhhh~ just came home. cried like a fool at my blk void-deck. i fail. fail to be a good girlfriend. fail for bringing happiness. perhaps yes i'm not good enough. i did think for you. what ever i do all is for you.. my words irritate you, my bad. blame myself brainless. cos i didnt think before i speak. i hate the feeling of being ignore by you when you are angry over me. i promise that i wont think so much and let my mood down when i'm with you. i know you care for me. but do you know that i care for you more den anything else. you are so important to me more den any one else. i don care what other ppl say. i don give it a damn. cos i only listen to you words. i thank you for giving me the love and care for the pass one month. i wish to grow old with you..
p.s: change!

♥ 10:02 PM

I'm currently very happy with my life. surrounded by love. only from him! changed new job. just started OK! ahah.. was having a tough time struggling with all those work that my boss has given to me. shag! hmm no choice but to work. if not i cant get my pay. i need to do some saving already! need to do some planning for my future ya=) it's good that there's alot of thing for me to learn but too much at one short.lol i m having headache once i think of working for the next day. hmm i looking forward for each day but not to work, cos after work i'll get to meet dear. alt it's jus a few hrs. at least i get to see him and that's all i want.haha *shy*=)) i will always remember the time we spend together. i cried because it hurt when i see u sad. i kept silent cos i m afraid i said things wrongly. i need you all the time. i love you for all my life. no matter what others said it doesnt effect us. cos i know what i want is YOU! cherish me and dote on me. u did it!=)) thanks dear! i will forget those sad sad days we had. say goodbye to those time! more sweet memorise are waiting for us to catch. still miss so much alt we just part for 1 hrs:D haha (spot the changes i had made)=)
good nite guys! lol i know it's bored reading my post cos it's all about mr chai=))

♥ 12:25 AM