sometimes i felt tat my life is in a mess. sometimes i felt tat i'm so bless wif e things n e people around me. sometimes i see tat this world is so unfair. But because got to live in this world. people got to stay strong. no matter how. life still goes on! few days ago i happened to read a blog tat was created by a girl for his beloved boyfriend which has already pass away 2 years ago. a road accident has taken his life n oso took away e smile n e happiness from this girl. after e death of this guy named Alex. few weeks later she started blogging, wat ever she wants to tell him she will blog it. however, 2 years passed. but she still living in e nightmare. it's pain tat no one can ever understand. to forget a person tat u really love. it's imposssible. esspecailly u leave tat person when u still love him/her. u cant c or hear from him anymore. all they left behind is those memories. no one can teach u how to move on. no motivation to do other things. leavin e one u love most. there's on others u think is better den him/her. all u c n all u think of is tat person. y is this world so curel??? y cant those tat love each other to be together n stay forever? y got to seperated? who knows e future? hold them tight if u love them. it's e stupidest thing to let go a person u love!!!! every relationship there's alway things tat is sweet n there's alway things tat is hurting. no right or wrong for loving someone. there's alway someone got to give n someone got to gain.
♥ 3:17 PM
shag!!! everyday complet 14 to 15 hours work. actuaaly intend to go club wif frens. butt too tired so i rather have a early rest at home. hmm now it's 12 plus goin to 1am already. luckly tml i'm OFF!!! i shall sleep now.tml wake up den i'll post blog again.
ps: alvin jie! eat shit la! fang fei ji.... Xp hahaha
*i miss my bed*
♥ 1:00 AM
jus came back from work. haha don feel tired at all. e whole day i was keeping myself busy. don even dare to slow down. cos i'm afraid tat some thoughts will come in to my mind. today was e second day i didnt called or reply his msg. when i saw his msg i got e urge to call him. there's so many things i wanted to ask n said. haha! wat's e point. i m so stupid. i should know wat ans he gonna give me.. e whole day i was feaking a smile. after work i quickly run off n took a cab. on my way home, as i was listening to songs at e same time e driver uncle was chatting with me. sitting at e back, i realise tat my mind starts reminding me abt him. tears dropping down like water. wat am i going to do? i m gonna break down soon. i miss him. i really do. but wat can i do. nothing.. nothing.. i m a useless freak! all i know is to cry. i have gone crazy. i don know who i can talk to. keep everything to myself is all i can do. e one tat i trust n hope for will not b there for me anymore. still remember u asked me this b4? " y u trust me so much? i always lie to u?" but u jus don understand y. i told u this " cos i simply have trust in u" actually it's all crap! know y? cos e person is no other but is u. cos i believe tat alt u lie to me one day u will choose to tell me e truth. no one can break e trust i have in u. but only u can. haha! wat a joke.i m mentally tired. trying to numb my pain. LOL i guess soon he will forget abt this silly girl tat has done so much for him. hahaha!!!
♥ 8:25 PM
HAHA! yesterday was my off day as usual now every wednesday nite i'll go to double O. i know my limit, i wont drink much. but den, last nite i'm craving for more. things have been troubled me for so long. i cant take it anymore. using such stupid ways making myself drank tot tat i would not feel hurt. i'm sorry guys. i'm drank n acting like a clown making a fool of myself in front of your. but after last nite. i m sure i m going to make e right decisions! things tat doesnt belongs to me, i should give up n let it free!i m willing to wait but no reply from e other. it has been a hard time for me. u r rite! im thinking too much. although i cant bear to let go cos my heart is still there but i got to make it clear! it's not mine! mayb i'm not worth it. i kept u deep inside of my heart. i cherish every single things n moment i spent with u. e words u spoken r always kept in my mind. seen e day we knew each other. i kept every single msg u sent to me in my phone. i hate myself so much when u said i make u felt guilty. i m sure if i stop contacting him, he will not look for me anymore. i rather get hurt n cry for e very last time den dragging it for so long. anyway hope i can forget everything soon. take care n sorry tat i really love u.
♥ 11:28 AM
after so many days of mc n off day. finally i m back to work. today was e 2nd day i m back to cj. ended work at 7plus. it was a long day at work. i m freakin tired n shag. everyday got to wake myself up at 4.30 leavin my hus at 5. but e good thing is tat i can escape from doin closing. seen i went back to cj. i have already talked to Anthony regardin my resignation. i m sick n tired of workin there. seen i have said tat so many times. this time round i m gonna mean it. i have been goin ard to interview for jobs in e past few days while i'm takin my mc. hopefully will get a better job. haha. n i realise tat some ppl were so GD in acting la. knew tat i gonna resign. out of a sudden treat me so well huh! thanks man! u r not tryin to cheer me up or wat. seriously u make me feel sick n weird. don scare me can. haha.. arh~ dear miss u so much. nv saw u for days le. missin u like hell. haha. date me alrite!? LOL. hmm thanks harold for trusting me so much. mayb i m jus not e one for u. we can always b frens. who knows e future.!? when time goes by. thing changes, people ard u changes, personality changes, even feelings will b gone. so i cherish e things n ppl i m with. when it's mine, it will always b mine.! if it's not mine, no matter wat i do. there'll always a gap! things tat doesnt go e way i wish to. i might give up. no point holdin on wif somethin or ppl tat doesnt works when u have already put in so much effort.! in e end u will get hurt, no one will petty u for ur foolish act. i think i'm a fool! haha.
guys thanks for readin my boring post. =)
love u guys so much. take care kies...
p.s: thanks yuan n guan! have a great nite wif u guys tat day. LOL next time let chill on e day when i'm takin off e next day. if not i'm tired like hell.:D
P.S: revonda! finally meet up wif u le. glad to c u r doing gd! loves..
♥ 9:32 PM
wooo~ miss blogging so much!!! haha today was e 3rd day opening at big splash. but now I'm freaking tired. everyday start work at 9am. got to wake up at 6 n leave my house at 7. need 2 hrs to reach there. e worse thing is tat e first day i work till 2am. slept for 2 to 3 hrs n got to go for work. 2nd day work till 10plus. gone home earlier due to some reason becos of some stupid ppl.cried for 2hrs tired. lol. reach hm ard 12plus n slept at 3. haha this morning overslept. took a cab down reach there at 8.25am. think i m gonna fell sick. really not feeling well so today Anthony let me go off at 8. everyday working 12hrs shift n above, nv go for break. nv eat. no time to go toilet. one person need to do 3 person's job.lol.. i think my boss tot he hired a robot to work. tired. i don even know when i'm gonna off cos they r planning e schedule day by day. not even e time tat we knock of will b known. only know wat time i should reach for e next day of work -.- sucks la! really pissed off lor.even if I'm dying. I'm gonna die in front of them, let them know hoe GOOD this company treat me! lol. hmm no matter how tired i am. hey guys! don worry wed I'll still go DB O wif ur. haha die la=p I'm addicted to club. hmm.. got to slp soon! tml workin at 7am! hope to know when's my off day soon!:D
♥ 11:53 PM
